The Trouble with Straddling

I had a light-bulb moment today as I was standing in front of the fridge, figuring out what would be a suitable breakfast.

All of you know the constant struggle I have with my weight, and how at this point in my life it's becoming imperative for me to make the switch to a healthy lifestyle. After all, I am not getting any younger and with a family history of hypertension and diabetes to contend with, I really have to start making the right lifestyle choices or face the consequences.

Unfortunately, knowing this in my head has not helped me kick my ass into gear. Despite the potentially dire outcomes of being wishy-washy with my health, I remain stagnant in my state of inertia, still waiting for my one big push to get me moving.

I've been trying to "cut down" and "start sort of exercising" for weeks now, but neither endeavor has taken off the ground. And as I stood in front of the ref, I realized that it's not possible to be "sort of on a diet." It's either you're on it or you're not.

In the same way, it's not possible to be "sort of a renewed Christian." Either you are or you're not.

In both cases, it's a matter of commitment. And in both cases, something that I admit to having a problem with.

One problem with straddling is that it gives one leeway to choose what rules or obligations apply and what don't. Since I'm not really on a diet, it's okay for me to sneak a couple of the chocolate-covered macadamia nuts every day. Since I'm not exactly in "good standing" with God right now, I can forgo the Bible reading program I used to be on.

The other problem with straddling is that because I have "plausible deniability," I can choose not to be accountable for my actions. When people call me to task on my actions or shortcomings, it is easy to brush them off by saying, "I'm not really (insert state here) therefore..." Life just gets easier.

But I do realize that without truly committing to living a healthier lifestyle, or to being a good Christian, I cannot truly grow or reap the benefits of making that commitment. Unless I commit to being a certain way, living a certain way, I cannot come into the fullness of life that is associated with either choice.

It's hard committing to something - it means taking responsibility, being accountable, and drawing on discipline to stay true to my commitment. But I will only forever be stunted if I continue to straddle the fence.

It's a constant struggle to get off the fence and a grace I beg God of - that I may live up to my commitments, whether it's to live a healthy lifestyle and lose weight or, more importantly, to declare that I am a Christian and live as I am supposed to live. Amen.